You Don’t Need A Tribe
I’ve heard a lot of people talk about the importance of having a tribe. Finding a group of like-minded people who motivate you, inspire you, support you and have similar goals to yours. Be it strangers you meet online through forums and events or close friends, it seems you cannot possibly go through life without a tribe.
While I think the idea of this is nice, finding people with the same passions as yours, I also think that this may be such a limiting experience. Hear me out…
If you are a gym goer for example and quite into your fitness, you can become absolutely swallowed by the vast number of healthy lifestyle communities out there. Online or offline, your local gym or through a network such F45. Same if you’re into a specific genre of music or a particular type of vehicle. I know people who define their entire existence around their beloved VW club or Porsche club. I fear that by becoming too wrapped up into the whole tribe idea, we risk our lives being overtaken by what is only one aspect of our lives.
I for one, have always been an advocate for the anti-tribe (I just coined this term myself by the way).
I am a firm believer that you get more out of life by surrounding yourself with people who are from different walks of life, have different goals and views to yours, people who can show you a different world if you like.
Yes, having people who are on the same wave-length as you is important. It makes us feel safe and comfortable and understood. But then doesn’t that limit your exposure to so much more that is out there? If your tribe is your go-to and you’re all on the same page, then doesn’t that mean that you’re stuck in a loop where no new ideas and perspectives can penetrate?
I am quite into my fitness, I love to travel, I am a foodie, I am a nomad, I am a career oriented feminist, I like tech and movies… yet I would never define myself as any one of those things. These are all facets of my identity, a single page in my story. Why would I limit myself by picking up 1 tribe or any tribe for that matter?
When I was in university, I was expected to join the Bulgarian tribe. There’s a thing amongst foreigners where we tend to mingle with our own kind (I hate that phrase). Many of my fellow Bulgarians found comfort in the company of other Bulgarians, being able to speak their mother tongue, having the same experiences, liking the same food, finding the same things about life in Britain odd… I hate that! I didn’t come all this way to be with the same people I was back in Bulgaria. I consciously distanced myself from that tribe and instead made a conscious effort to mingle with people from different countries, who were studying different subjects to me etc.
I made friends with a guy who’s dad is an actual king in a small West African village. I met a Polish girl who worked in a yoghurt factory. A posh London guy who taught me how to play the ukulele and he is a tree surgeon now. A young French woman who persuaded me to join her dancing group and she is working for the UN now.
I often surround myself with people who are the complete opposite to me. These people don’t necessarily share my views or goals, they may not be into the exact same things as I am and you know what, that is quite invigorating.
I feel like I am exposing them to new things and they do the same for me.
So if you have a tribe, good for you, but don’t be afraid to poke your head out every now and then and see what else is going on around you. And if you don’t have a tribe, then that’s cool too. You don’t really need one to be happy and successful! You are enough
