The power of someone believing in you

Growing up my mother was more than generous with her compliments. She kept telling me that I am the best, the smartest and the most beautiful of all the children in my school. That I am strong and confident and I can achieve anything I want. That nobody and nothing is in my way, and if I set my mind on something, I’ll achieve it.

I believed her.

In hindsight, I probably wasn’t all those things. Looking back now, I wasn’t the cleverest or the prettiest of kids. What I was however, and what I am to this day, is someone who is confident and self-assured. Not the cocky and over-the-top kind of confident (I hope not), but the ‘I can do this’ type of confident.

I’d like to think of myself as someone who is comfortable taking risks, someone who isn’t afraid to venture out of her comfort zone, someone who believes in themselves enough to go and chase after their dreams. How much of this is nature and how much is nurture is up for debate, but I always think that I got this go-get attitude from my mom and the confidence she instilled in me. To this day, she tells me ‘I believe in you’. I know that’s what mothers are supposed to say, but I think she actually means it. She is my personal cheerleader and I would put down a huge chunk of my successes down to her cheering me on every step of the way.

Of course, I am not confident in my self 100% of the time. God no! I have periods when I doubt myself, and I think I’m not worthy, not smart enough, not good enough. And that’s okay. Nobody feels 100% amazing all the time. But in moments when I feel that way, I like to call my mom and hear the words ‘I believe in you’. I like to call my friend Jenny and hear her say ‘Pull yourself together woman, you can do this. You got it under control’. In times when I feel like I’m falling inside, I need someone from the outside to tell me it will be okay.

Up until recently I used to hate that about myself. The need for external validation. It’s pathetic. Surely, that’s a weakness, right? I shouldn’t have to wait on other people to tell me I’m strong, I should be able to do that for myself. But the more I thought about it, the more it started to make sense that needing a good word to help you carry on isn’t a weakness. It’s something we all need.

In a world where people benefit from our self-doubt and our insecurities, liking and believing in yourself is a rebellious act. Believing in yourself is a powerful thing. But sometimes we need a bit of help; and having someone believe in you when you’re doubting yourself could be just as powerful.

A good word could be all a person needs to turn their life around. It’s easy to settle for less when you think that’s all you deserve and you can’t do better. Whether it’s staying in a dead-end job because you think nobody else would hire you or staying in a small town because you’re afraid to take a leap of faith and move to a bigger city, sometimes we just don’t have it in us to take the big step towards change. This is where external positivity and validation can help enourmasly.

Hearing someone else, someone you love and trust, tell you that they believe in you is powerful. It’s liberating. For me, it breaks down the wall that I often times build myself that stands between me and my dreams. My friends and family’s words of confidence have helped me so many times. And I know I’ve helped them as well. When I know someone’s struggling, when I see them pausing right before they jump, when I see them doubting themselves, I am more than happy to get in there and say ‘Hey, you’ve got this. I believe in you.’

Don’t we all need someone to believe in us? Sometimes, we alone are enough. Other times, we need someone to say the words to us. And that’s okay.

So if you need to hear this today, know that I believe in you!